Is confidence a decision?
“You’re more confident in the space you take up.”
A friend said that to me recently, and I laughed a little. Mostly because I hadn’t really noticed.
But the more I sat with it, the more I realized… she’s right.
And not because I suddenly know more or have everything figured out.
If anything, it’s the opposite.
I think I just stopped waiting.
Stopped waiting until I felt like an expert.
Stopped waiting until I had the perfect thing to say.
Stopped waiting until I felt 100% sure.
I made the decision:
I can take up space while I’m still becoming.
And if I’m honest, it shows up in small ways.
Jumping into a conversation instead of observing it for five minutes first (I’m always worried I am too much).
Sharing a thought without rehearsing it three times in my head.
Letting an idea land without immediately softening it or redirecting the spotlight to someone else.
Nothing dramatic.
Just… less predicting, less pausing, less hesitation.
Trusting I’ll figure it out. Trusting someone in the room will get me.
Just being me.
LEADERSHIP
This is the part we don’t talk about enough.
There’s a tension in leadership between learning and leading.
Between growing… and showing up like you belong in the room.
And it can feel like you have to choose.
That confidence comes after competence.
That you earn your voice once you’ve proven yourself.
I remember being a new leader and saying things like,
“I’m new, so I might be wrong here, but…”
And what I didn’t realize at the time was I was training the room how to hear me.
Hesitant.
Uncertain.
Optional.
The ripple effect? Fewer big opportunities. Less weight behind my ideas. More time spent proving what I already knew.
When we stay in learning mode without holding space for leading mode, this is what it looks like:
We hold back.
We soften.
We hedge… just in case we’re not “there yet.”
But here’s the catch:
The more you learn, the more you realize what you don’t know.
So if confidence is tied to having it all figured out…
you’ll always find a reason to stay smaller than you could be.
The leaders people trust most aren’t the ones who have every answer.
They’re the ones who show up, share what they know, stay open to what they don’t, and keep moving anyway.
Not in the waiting.
In the showing up.
So if you’ve caught yourself hesitating, over-qualifying, or shrinking your language because you’re new…
You don’t need less learning.
You need to lead while you’re learning.
LIFE
This doesn’t just show up at work.
It shows up in conversations.
In decisions.
In everyday moments where we shrink to fit in.
Not because we don’t have something to say…
…but because we’re not sure it’s the perfect thing to say.
So we wait.
We get quieter.
We second-guess.
I remember starting workout classes a couple of years ago and immediately heading to the back row.
Not because I had to.
But because I didn’t want to be “too much.”
Too chatty.
Too loud when things got hard (I like to jokingly commiserate mid-set).
Too likely to laugh or modify something on the fly.
It was a small decision.
But it was still a decision to shrink.
I still find myself in the back row most days (some habits stick),
but now I notice it.
Taking up space isn’t about being loud.
It’s about owning your presence.
Saying the thing.
Taking the seat.
Letting yourself be seen before you feel completely ready.
Because here’s what I’m learning:
You can take up space and still be learning.
You can be confident and still be growing.
You can lead and still not have it all figured out.
Those aren’t opposites.
They’re the combination.
And if you’ve been waiting to feel ready before you show up a little bigger…
You might be more ready than you think.
Have Good Ripple Effect,
Lisa