Maybe it’s because Halloween is just days away, or because my son asked to go to a haunted house that cost thirty bucks (is that the going rate these days? Facepalm.), but I’ve been thinking about what’s real, what’s imaginary, and how our brains can play tricks on us.
Leadership: The Real vs. Imaginary Threat Test
Spooky season isn’t just for haunted houses. Sometimes, the scariest place can be inside our own heads.
Ever found yourself thinking things like…
What if it’s not good enough?
What if people won’t like it?
What if I’m not good at that?
Our brain’s job is to keep us safe. When it comes to crossing the street or driving in the dark, it deserves a big high five. But when it comes to trying something new—presenting an idea, leading through change, or giving feedback differently—that same brain can sound the alarm (sweaty palms and everything).
It hits the panic button.
That’s because your brain doesn’t always know the difference between real danger and an imaginary threat. It just wants you to stay comfortable, and comfort, while cozy, rarely grows leaders.
So here’s a leadership test to keep in your back pocket (no ghostbusters required):
Before you hold back on trying something new with your team, learning a new skill, or signing up to be on a committee (or insert the thing you’re contemplating), pause and ask yourself:
- Is this dangerous?
- If yes, is it a real threat or an imaginary one?
If it’s real—ethical risk, physical harm, genuine consequence—thank your brain for keeping you safe.
If it’s imaginary—fear of failure, judgment, or being uncomfortable—that’s your cue to move forward anyway.
Because leadership growth doesn’t happen when we’re safe. It happens when we’re brave.
Try this: The next time your inner voice whispers boo, take a deep breath and ask those two questions. It might turn out the thing you were scared of was just wearing a costume.
That’s exactly how I brought my first book (Joy Is My Job) to life. And—spoiler alert—the Joy Workbook is coming soon.
Life: The Author’s Dilemma
I was recently talking with a friend who just became an author. Her book is done—published, printed, and officially real—and yet her brain is still haunted by the same sneaky thoughts:
What if people don’t like it?
Is it good enough?
Am I really an author?
It’s not about the book. It’s about the brain. Even after we’ve done the thing—hit publish, hosted the event, or stepped out of our comfort zone—those “what ifs” sneak back in like ghosts, trying to convince us to dim the light we just turned on.
Here’s the thing: You can be proud and still nervous. You can be accomplished and still have doubts. The goal isn’t to silence those feelings; it’s to spot the ones that are imaginary, not dangerous.
I told her the same thing I tell myself: “You need a panic-button phrase. Something you can say to yourself in the moment.”
Mine? If someone ever told me they didn’t like my book, I’d respond (in the most calm, nonchalant way possible), “I’m doing hard things. What are you up to these days?”
Because anyone doing hard, spooky, and brave things probably wouldn’t say that to begin with.
So this week, when your brain starts spinning spooky stories about what could go wrong, grab your metaphorical flashlight and ask:
Is this dangerous?
Or just uncomfortable?
If it’s the latter, smile, thank your brain for trying to protect you, and go for it anyway.
What “imaginary threat” has been haunting you lately—at work or in life? Hit reply and tell me. Let’s turn on the lights together.
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