One of my favorite moments during my Have Good Ripple Effect keynote on team culture is when I flash a big list of words on the screen and ask the audience to pick their top three values. What are the three things most important to them?
As they mull over the list, I follow up with a simple question:
Where did those values come from?
People shout out answers like parents, grandparents, mentors, teachers, life experiences, and even their kids. The answers always bring the room to life.
Then I share a story about two team members with opposing values who learned to appreciate each other after understanding the why behind those values. One valued humor deeply because it helped them endure a tough childhood. Their colleague, a serious and focused individual, initially struggled to see the connection between humor and productivity. But once they understood its origin, their perspective shifted—and their working relationship improved dramatically.
Our values are like the baggage we carry on vacation. Some pieces are light and easy, while others feel impossibly heavy. But we carry them all, every single day.
So here’s my question for you:
What are your values?
How did they come to be?
And—just as important—how are they influencing your personal and professional relationships?
Take a moment to reflect on that. You might just discover a new way to connect with those around you—or even yourself.
P.S. Pay attention to what people talk about casually (family, faith, hobbies) and what frustrates them (“They don’t trust me,” “She’s not loyal”). Those are clues to their values—and might just be the key to better understanding them.
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