Maybe it was a sports coach, a teacher, or a well-meaning relative… but I have this faint memory of being little, wanting to give up, and someone saying, “Suck it up, Sally.” And lately I’ve been thinking about how wild it is that a line like that, tossed out in a single moment, can stick with you for decades.
I’m not sure if it made me tougher or simply taught me to power through when I probably needed help. Maybe a little of both (nods at the computer screen and shrugs shoulders). But it has me thinking about the mantras we carry: the ones we grew up hearing (from our Uncle Frank or Aunt Judy), the ones we’ve adopted as adults, and the ones we repeat without even noticing (like “you have to eat your vegetables because there are starving kids in the world”… and suddenly I’m hearing myself say it too?! Or, at least the thought to say it crosses my mind).
These little phrases become anchors, baggage, motivation, and sometimes permission slips. They shape how we respond, how we work, how we lead, and how we move through both the good days and the not-so-good ones. And the more I pay attention to my own “mental mantra cookbook,” the more I realize that the things we tell ourselves matter more than we think. I’ve even been doing a little inventory on the mantras I carry — these quiet social contracts I have with myself. A few of mine include:
- Work hard, play hard
- Joy is my job
- Live in the lab (experiment like a scientist)
- Have Good Ripple Effect
- Suck it up, Sally (this one still pops up from time to time)
- Life is short
- Confidence is practiced by you, not given by someone else
- Be good, be careful, be nice (my mom said this growing up and now I say it to my kids)
- I can be two things at once (insert whatever extremes I’m feeling)
- Just keep going
- You have to be a little awful before you can be awesome
Each one has its own story, its own season, its own moment. And each one influences how I show up, even when I’m not paying attention.
LEADERSHIP
Assuming each of us carries a little book of mantras in our minds, I love to peek into the companies I work with and hear theirs, the leaders’, the coworkers’, the teams’. I’m always curious about their go-to lines, the ones that help them show up, stay steady, and not lose their minds in the swirl of meetings, expectations, and constant change.
Some mantras keep us grounded when things are going well. Others are the ones we whisper under our breath when the day feels long, the inbox is full, and patience is running thin. And whether we realize it or not, these mantras shape more than our mindset (perception is, in fact, reality). They shape our leadership presence and our practice.
Mantras also show up for groups.
Teams often discover that their mantras become their culture…the statements and beliefs they carry consciously and subconsciously.
“We figure it out.”
“We don’t panic.”
“We try things.”
“We talk to each other, not about each other.”
These aren’t just clever lines. They’re agreements. They’re expectations. They set the tone for how a team navigates pressure, conflict, and momentum.
And we sometimes find the not-so-great ones tucked inside.
“Nothing changes around here.”
“We’ve always done it that way.”
“We’re too busy to be friendly.”
“This is just how it is.”
Mantras are like cookbooks. They hold recipes, some worth repeating, some worth revising, and some we need to retire completely to get that icky taste out of our mouths.
What mantra are you cooking with lately? And does the team know it?
The things we tell ourselves (and our teams) create a ripple effect, and your team feels the recipe you’re using whether you’ve shared it out loud or not.
P.S. – Sometimes it takes a dried-out stuffing at a holiday gathering to remind us we need a new recipe. Happy Early Thanksgiving…if you celebrate!
LIFE
Some people collect books. Some collect mugs. I apparently collect mantras. I have one for joy (Joy is my job), one for hard days (just keep going), one for parenting (be good, be careful, be nice), one for transitions (you’re on a journey from awful to awesome), one for travel (life is short, take the trip), and probably one for waiting in line at Costco (“I’m lucky enough to complain about waiting in line… I’ll take that over other complaints any day”).
Mantras have a way of grounding us when life feels too fast and lifting us when life feels too heavy. They give our brains a place to go — a familiar phrase or small truth that reminds us we’re capable, resilient, human, and doing our best.
If I were a runner, I’m sure I’d have a mantra ready for the moment I wanted to quit the race… “Just keep going… right… left… right… left.”
Lately mine sound like “You can be two things at once” and “Don’t focus on the destination… keep moving in the direction you want to go.” They’re small, mighty pep-talk moments.
The stories and statements we tell ourselves matter. They become the lens we use to interpret the day. They can shift the mood in a moment. They can bring us back to center. They remind us that we’re still writing the story of our lives, even on the days that feel messy or mundane.
So here’s my question for you this week: What’s one mantra you want to borrow, update, or retire? Because the words we repeat quietly often shape the loudest parts of our lives.
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