Chumbawamba and Feedback.
I recently got some feedback that really knocked me for a loop—it reminded me of that '90s hit by Chumbawamba: "I get knocked down, but I get up again!" Funny how those lyrics came to mind as I was processing everything.
I speak and teach a lot on feedback and was glad to have read the book Thanks for the Feedback by Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone, about the challenges of receiving and giving feedback.
The book talks about three "feedback triggers" which are the three reasons why feedback won’t be received:
Truth Trigger: When feedback doesn’t align with your self-perception. For example, early in my career, I was told I wasn’t concise enough. My first instinct? Hide under my desk! But they were right…I was a rambler back then.
Relationship Trigger: If you have a rocky relationship with the feedback giver, it’s tempting to reject their comments outright. Don’t like your leader or a colleague, good luck with receiving any feedback from them!
Identity Trigger: This is the deepest cut. Recently, I was told my questions in conversations are bold (thought provoking and personal). This feedback touched on my identity as someone who values curiosity, growth, and learning— labels like “too much” have followed me for years. It took me a long time to realize that as a business owner, blending in isn’t the goal — standing out is.
If you’ve recently received tough feedback, you’re not alone. We all decide its validity and sometimes, the feedback is more about the giver than about you. When feedback touches a sensitive spot, it stings, but it's also a growth moment (take what you can and leave the rest).
Remember, feedback is a snapshot, a moment in time — not a definitive marker of who you are (I often remind myself in the mirror, "Lisa, it’s just a snapshot"). Don’t let one piece of feedback define you or carry it like a weight. Take it as a chance to learn and grow, then move forward, stronger and more resilient.
Keep pushing, even if you're nursing a bruise or two. Because in the end, resilience is about getting back up, no matter how many times we're knocked down (thanks Chumawamba!).
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