My 14-year-old recently got his driver’s permit, which seems crazy because just yesterday he was the size of a loaf of bread and permanently glued to my left side. Or at least it feels that way. I blinked, and now he’s an inch and a half taller than me and proudly driving around with me in the passenger seat.
I remember that first drive clearly. Showing him where all the controls were. Teaching him how to adjust the mirrors, put the car in drive, and turn on the turn signal. Early on, we practiced in parking lots, and every movement required his full concentration. Hands, feet, signals, speed. It was clunky.
Now, after simply showing up time after time, a few months later, it’s starting to look more natural. The movements are syncing up. The pauses are shorter. The confidence is growing. He starts Driver’s Ed this week!
And to be honest, nothing magical happened. He didn’t suddenly become a confident driver overnight. He showed up. He practiced. Repeatedly…with a few hard brakes, wide turns, and “oops, sorry about that” moments along the way. Over time, consistency and effort are beginning to turn into instinct.
Leadership
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about showing up, consistency, and the effort required to build habits. When you look closely at strong leaders and healthy teams, what stands out is repeatable behavior.
Research shows that roughly 40 percent of what we do each day is automatic. From a leadership perspective, that matters. The more your core leadership behaviors become habitual, the less energy you spend deciding how to show up, communicate, fight fires, and engage.
I saw this play out with a leader I coach who was ready to abandon one-on-ones because they felt awkward and unproductive. She assumed the time could be better spent elsewhere.
I challenged her on that. When done well, one-on-ones provide insight into a team member’s thinking, emotional state, and roadblocks. They create space to coach, align expectations, and ultimately drive productivity and KPIs. What she didn’t need was fewer conversations. She needed a new way to facilitate them. She needed a new habit.
Instead of eliminating her one-on-ones, she experimented with a new structure and new questions. Her goal shifted from getting through the meeting to truly understanding her team. It wasn’t perfect at first. Her team was surprised by the new format and a bit cautious, but they shared more than ever before. Over time, it worked. Six months later, those conversations had become second nature.
This is why I encourage leaders to focus on small changes rather than major overhauls.
What is one leadership behavior you could practice consistently?
Appreciation. Asking better questions. Creating space for dialogue. These small actions compound. Over time, they become part of how you lead, not another item on your to-do list.
There’s also an important counterpoint. Sometimes the most meaningful progress doesn’t come from adding new habits, but from letting go of ones that no longer serve you or your team.
In a short article I recently read, Warren Buffett talks about the importance of breaking habits that hold us back. He notes that many people focus on what they should start doing, when real growth often comes from identifying behaviors that quietly undermine effectiveness — interrupting, reacting too quickly, or avoiding hard conversations.
It’s a reminder that success isn’t just about discipline and addition. It’s also about awareness and subtraction. I found it to be a helpful lens for leadership and worth the read.
Life
This idea of showing up and being consistent really came into focus for me with my son. But I see it everywhere.
I have a friend who learned watercolor painting. Another who started making bread. Another who’s back in the gym after time away. None of them started by accident, or without being messy, or even mastery. They started by showing up.
One friend decided she wanted to make her own bread. Partly because grocery store bread comes with a long list of ingredients she couldn’t pronounce, and partly because she liked the idea of learning something hands-on. She didn’t know where to start, but had good intentions and even a sourdough starter from a friend.
That first attempt didn’t stick. The starter died. Life got busy. The idea stayed on the list.
Then one day at Costco, she spotted a NordicWare bread kit. Nothing fancy, but it had the pan, the whisk, clear directions, and a simple diagram. Suddenly, the process felt doable. She tried again, stayed consistent, and started turning out some pretty darn good bread.
What made it even better was that a friend was learning alongside her. There was sharing, comparing notes, accountability, and encouragement. It wasn’t perfect. It didn’t have to be. The timing was right, the structure was there, and the results followed.
It reminded me that wanting an outcome is only part of the equation. Sometimes we need the right tools, the right moment, and the willingness to come back after the first attempt didn’t work. And often, things get easier when we don’t try to do them alone.
The same goes for me. When I walked into my first barre workout class a couple of years ago, I gave myself permission to quit if I hated it. I didn’t. I kept going. Two years later, I’ve been to 368 classes. Signing up for one or two each week is automatic now.
I no longer carry the guilt or the “I don’t have time” conversation. We make time for what we make time for. It’s a habit.
Doing new things or returning to old ones doesn’t happen because of motivation. It happens when one decision turns into a routine.
Accountability helps too. Sometimes it’s a peer. Sometimes it’s a friend who checks in. Sometimes it’s simply knowing someone will ask, “Did you follow through?”
Here’s a simple way I think about habits: the 3–3–3 approach. I am not sure who invited it, but it works like a charm.
3 days to start
3 weeks for it to feel routine
3 months for it to feel automatic
I tell myself I just need to show up three times. Then I focus on making it routine a few more times. Before I know it, 90-days have passed.
If you’re thinking about consistency right now, here’s my encouragement. Start small. Make it doable. Try it a few times. Then keep going. You don’t have to change everything at once. You just have to show up consistently.
Over time, those small choices shape how you lead, how you live, and your experience in life.
Have Good Ripple Effect,
Lisa