Hey there,
Ever feel like life would be easier if people just did what you said? No pushback, no questions—just action.
Tempting, right?
Imagine your boss, your teammates, your spouse, your kids, your extended family… Imagine if they all just fell in line. No resistance. No negotiating. Just execution.
Ahhh, that would be refreshing.
But also unrealistic. Life—and leadership—doesn’t work that way (shocking, I know).
So what does work? Influence. Awareness. The ability to shape your world by understanding the people in it.
Here’s how.
Leadership: Is It About You or Your Team?
Being a leader isn’t about you—it’s about your team.
It’s about seeing through their lens, understanding their challenges, and valuing their input. Progress happens when leaders channel that energy into solutions—not just mandates.
Sure, it’d be easier if everyone just followed orders, but that’s not how high-performing teams operate. A “my way or the highway” approach might get quick compliance, but it won’t drive long-term success. Sustainable productivity comes from leaders who listen, engage, and give their teams the autonomy to experiment, contribute, and own their work.
Want a quick leadership check? Pay attention to how often you ask for input. If you’re telling more than asking, that’s a sign you’re making leadership about you—not them.
Here are three of my go-to questions to help shift from telling to gathering insights:
- What are we missing on this?
- Who else should weigh in?
- What does success look like from your perspective?
These questions aren’t just about making people feel heard (though that’s a big bonus)—they help you make better decisions by surfacing blind spots and broadening perspectives.
And if the response turns into a complaint fest? Validate, reiterate, and move forward:
“I hear you. It’s always challenging to [acknowledge the difficulty]. While I can’t move mountains with the budget, I do appreciate you sharing your perspective. I’ll gather a few more thoughts and put together a plan. Thanks for putting thought into this.”
By gathering input, you’re playing the long game.
So, the real question is: Are you leading for the moment, or for the future?
Life: Advice I Didn’t Need
I recently had someone give me advice I didn’t ask for.
I know they meant well, but it got me thinking.
The way we engage with our teams is often the way we engage with family, friends, and even ourselves. It’s difficult to completely separate how we show up in both places.
Maybe they’re used to giving advice at work. Maybe they’re a parent who is constantly in problem-solving mode. Or maybe it’s just a habit—because, let’s be honest, giving advice feels helpful.
But have you ever caught yourself giving advice when someone just needed to be heard? Or assuming you know what someone needs before they tell you?
It happens to all of us. And while our intentions are good, sometimes the best way to help isn’t to fix—it’s to listen.
A simple shift—”What do you need?” instead of “Here’s what you should do.”—can change the tone of a conversation, deepen trust, and create space for the other person to truly feel seen.
And this applies everywhere:
✅ Your team at work
✅ Your kids at home
✅ Your partner in a tough moment
✅ Even yourself when you’re feeling stuck
So, here’s a challenge: This week, before jumping in with a solution, pause and ask a question instead. You might be surprised at what happens next.
Let’s make the long game count.
Lisa
Feel free to hit reply anytime to share your stories, ask questions, or celebrate your latest win—I’d love to hear from you!